Algebraic notation. Homeostasis and response. Getting directions to the train station in French. An Inspector Calls. These are just some of the topics my son is currently grappling with as we encourage him to get his head down to revise over half term for his mock GCSEs when he returns to school.

The countdown to the real thing begins in earnest…now. Or does it? Parents across the land are no doubt trying to tread the same tightly strung tightrope as us, lurching between encouragement and persuasion; carrot and stick; reward and punishment, positive and negative reinforcement. Or the standard denominator, phone or no phone.
The challenge (read also as, ‘our son’) is significant, complex and has many variables: the capacity of a 15-year old’s brain to retain information; attention span; ‘advice’ from peers (2 hours revision a day is the maximum recommendation according to the friends WhatsApp group – who knew?); distractions aplenty; hormones; FIFA on PS5 (yes, I know it’s now called EA Sports FC but it’s a bit like X will be known as Twitter for a generation).

The common thread here is time. How it’s planned. How it’s used. How it has helped shape the individual. It’s also about time in the future. There are three distinct milestones between now and the 19th June 2024; November mock exams; February mock exams; the real thing 9th May 2024. Apparently, there’s a fourth milestone which involves partying with mates some time between the 19th June and early September. Our parental fourth milestone is slightly different – results day 22nd August 2024, but we’ve been told we’ve missed the point on that one according to our ‘challenge’.

The difficulty with these milestones, or deadlines, as we should probably call them, is that they are over a protracted period. It’s difficult to break them down into bite-size chunks. It’s hard to manage the pace of performance. It’s vital to avoid peaking too early. If we’re talking about pace, a shuffle of revision would be a good start. But let’s not go there.

The final goal seems so far away that procrastination is almost inevitable. The rewards are considered too distant to be a strong motivator. And the level of anxiety and potential burnout is huge. There’s fear of failure, of drawing a complete blank under exam conditions and worry of letting people down, not to mention the competitive gauntlet thrown down by the same peer group advocating minimal levels of study time. It’s stressful. Peaks and troughs of heightened emotions, waves of apprehension intensifying as the deadlines loom. Sometimes remorse and regret at time misspent.

It’s this time induced stress that I will be focusing on during World Stress Awareness week. I’m going in search of methods to alleviate the impact deadlines have on my mental health. Thinking about what my son is experiencing was a valuable reflection. And the irony of setting myself a deadline for this article is not lost on me. The clock is ticking, I’m up against it. Eek!

Perhaps just being aware of the often-negative impact time has on me and other people is enough as a starting point. To be more aware of the emotional and mental demands it creates. Managing other people’s deadlines is a case in point. How often do you employ the false deadline tactic? More often than you probably realise.

False deadlines refer to deadlines that are intentionally set earlier than the actual or necessary deadline for a deliverable. They create a sense of urgency and encourage people to complete their tasks more quickly or efficiently.

The idea behind using false deadlines is taken from the psychological phenomenon, “Parkinson’s Law,” which observes work expands to fill time available for its completion. The premise goes that by setting a deadline earlier than the real one, people are motivated to start and complete their work sooner, in the belief that time is running out, even if there’s still plenty of time left to finish it.

Used sparingly and sympathetically, there’s probably a place for false deadlines. Employed frequently and without the care and respect for the person on the receiving end, can easily lead to them experiencing excessive demands, stress and poor mental wellbeing.

When someone asks you, “When do you need it?”, perhaps the respectful answer is, “When can you realistically get it done without causing yourself undue stress?”. Take some time to be kind.